Man, woman and child  in a suit that doesn’t fit

Man, woman and child  in a suit that doesn’t fit



What does this post tell you
What does this post tell you

Our environment is extremely important. Not just the air or oxygen. People….Friends, family,contacts.

Entitlement is a Persons belief that they are inherently  deserving of privileges or special treatment. Some people wear their entitlement like a crown—they're rude, demanding, contemptuous, and they get resentful, not just disappointed, when things don't go exactly their way.
Chose your words carefully
Chose your words carefully

To be expanded

I look forward to going into this topic more.

I'm going to use a technique with this page……….

A technique that I like to call my daily words or “write it down and burn it”

Very helpful technique I learnt by accident. Feeling frustrated alone and many other unsettling emotions, I discovered that if I wrote things down it was almost therapy. It was therapy, it still is

our brain soaks up so much in a day. We make in excess of 10 thousand decisions a day. 

Think about this here. That’s a decision already.

Expect. Filing in your mind. 

We have all encountered someone with a heightened sense of entitlement. The customer who tries to return merchandise he damaged for a full refund. The student who demands an “A” despite not doing good work. The employee who complains about not getting a promotion even though she does not deserve one. The celebrity who asks “don’t you know who I am?” when told that there are no available tables at a restaurant.

Researchers in the field of psychology who study entitled individuals define entitlement as a personally characteristic in which someone has a pervasive sense of deservingness. People high in entitlement believe that they should get what they want because of who they are—and their sense of deservingness is not based on what others would consider to be good reasons.  Entitled individuals think they deserve more than other people, even when they really aren’t better than others are.  Some people feel quite entitled overall, but people’s sense of entitlement can also fluctuate, and there can be times when even a normally unentitled person feels temporarily entitled. The sources of entitlement are not fully understood, but researchers have pointed to factors such as how people are treated by their parents and other authority figures, messages from the media, and other life events, especially those that make people feel that they are special.

To study entitlement, researchers must first identify whether someone is entitled. The most common way of doing this is for researchers to ask people to report their own level of entitlement. People rate how much they agree with statements such as “I honestly think I am just more deserving than others,” and the more strongly people agree, the more entitled researchers consider them to be. And, yes, some people actually admit that they have a sense of entitlement! After identifying someone’s degree of entitlement, the researchers then go on to observe how this person behaves.

One major conclusion from the research that other researchers and I have conducted is that, not surprisingly, other people often have difficulty dealing with entitled individuals. In fact, interacting with highly entitled people can lower your well-being. People with a sense of entitlement are more likely to create conflict, behave dishonestly, and act selfishly. In one study, entitled individuals were even more likely to take candy from children! Entitled people are also less likely to apologize for their mistakes and to follow instructions.

The people who interact with entitled individuals are not the only ones who suffer the effects of entitlement. It is also difficult to be an entitled person. Entitled people have high expectations that often go unmet, which can lead to disappointment and psychological distress. Entitled individuals are also more likely to have difficulty maintaining positive relationships with other people, and they often believe they are being treated unfairly.

Although feeling entitled can create problems, there are also some advantages. Research shows  that entitled people are sometimes better at creative problem solving, and entitled people may also perform better in certain types of negotiations. When entitled people ask for what they want, sometimes they actually get it, whether it’s deserved or not. And because entitled people have a high view of themselves, they may be less likely to let others take advantage of them. Thus, being entitled can sometimes be a benefit, particularly when it is not essential for the entitled person to maintain positive long-term relationships.  

So what should we do when we encounter an entitled individual? It is hard to change someone’s personality, and research indicates that it is particularly difficult to make someone feel or act less entitled. But we can do things to avoid reinforcing someone’s sense of entitlement. For example, when entitled people make unwarranted demands, it might be better not to give in, because doing so may make them even more certain that their entitlement is justified. And when saying “no” to entitled people, it may help to explain why your refusal is fair, because perceptions of unfairness are linked to even more entitled behavior in the future. (Of course, entitled people are unlikely to think something that doesn’t benefit them is fair, but it doesn’t hurt to try.)

Finally, instead of trying to make people feel less entitled, perhaps we can capitalize on the advantages of their sense of entitlement. For example, if there is something you really want, send an entitled person to ask for it because this person will not be afraid to make demands. Sometimes it is important to fight for something, and the fight might be more successful if the people who make the request feel fully entitled to get what they want. It helps to keep in mind that although entitlement has many negative consequences, it is not all bad.


How much “IS” too much ??

Right off topic story but fitting. 

As I cleaned, rearranged and decorated my shack, there was reason and purpose 
Whilst doing this, I had questions that were left unanswered. 

Do I want it to look nicer ?
Am I removing past memories?
Am I creating new memories ?
Am I just behaving in a fashion that sees me distracted ?
Is this a moment of re gaining control ?

I wanted a fresh look so I could remove tainted memories. But, I wanted to hold on to as many as I could. My new memories interlocking with the past. 
The good times…. Most of my past 25 years of life have been “GOOD TIMES”. 
More than good times. The best years of my life with love all around me. 
Shifting from that life to this life is and will be a very important milestone. ‘
Holding on to my heart and all that filled it, but still filing it with fresh blood. 

Distraction serves well when necessary. Another very important balancing act
Certain memories pop into our mind whilst doing the normal things. 
Normal things….. picking up a cushion off the floor that fell whilst making my day bed. 
Not worrying about the dog hair that I need to dust off, was the topic my mind took too. 
Then the wandering can set in. 
Returning back or rewinding here. I’m doing things for distraction, yet that cushion dropping in the floor took me to where I didn’t want to be going. 
How easy is it to let these silly little memories pop up. This is where the fine tuning comes in though. 
Yes, I no longer have to worry about the dog hair on the cushion. But maybe I’d rather the dog hair on the cushion. There it is. Right there. 
Splitting hairs. (No pun intended). 
End of thoughts should commence. 

This very minute or second that we need to be aware of and smile with appreciation
Appreciation for having the dog hair on the cushion
and now 
not having the dog hair on the cushion. 
End of story… End of thoughts. 
No dissecting. No maybes or could haves
Learning and controlling the mind. This thought and memory Ends here. 

It stays as a good memory
A good beginning. 

So much can come from the cushion dropping on the floor. 
Our mind wants to take us to places that we are actually trying to distract ourself from
The drunken monkeys love it when our mind is in this quantum leap. 

The subconscious thinking that I call 
“The drunken monkeys of one’s mind.”  

So easily it takes us to such irrelevant crap. What if ?  Scenarios that played a certain way and could have had other outcomes if one little thing was different’ .

This is the time that I stand up straight from what I’m doing… with a good confident and assertive posture I say. No.
No…. I’m not letting these monkeys take me to the land of overthinking. And I stop. I have learnt with such determination the past two or three years to take hold when the thinking is just not of any benefit at all.

Let me add too. There was a huge period whilst mastering these drunken monkeys in everybody’s mind….. I stopped thinking all together. 
Being an extremist, I went way up the end of the scale. Typical for me and at mid age, I’m seeing my faults, recognising them and being patient to establish a medium. 
No doubt I’ll always be this extremist. 
Being aware of it is my achievement 

This can take us to another level again though. 
Overthinking the balance can ruin the whole purpose 

I am an extremist
I will go in so god damned far that I feel like I have failed
Reminding myself…. No, this is how I roll. This will balance. 

One word for all the above that were unanswered. 

In time, I will balance this challenge
This is temporary
The time of patience will reveal my own control.